get up!

Ever felt like one of the best things that has ever happened to you was slipping away? that everything has gone beyond your control and so much has been broken that it probably can't be fixed?

well, life brings us different challenges and sometimes its how you come through that matters, not the size of the challenge. there might be times when you feel like your biggest dreams is slipping through your fingers and that everything you've worked for has just gone down the drain but it's not the end of the world. there's always time to get up again and do what you have to do. so get up, dust yourself off and go out there and fulfil your destiny. you're never too old to do anything!

i'm sorry

sometimes it takes a gesture as simple as apologising to make things right and be a better person. Admitting to your mistakes doesn't make you an idiot, it makes the bigger person. a simple saying such as "I'm sorry" could mean a lot to those you've wronged in any way and being too proud to say these words just won't get you any where. the power of these words is incomparable. this is the one sentence that has the power to reunite/reconcile and bring relief when said, yet it has the power to lead to alienation, hatred and even anger when not said where it's due. so don't be too proud to apologise, it's good for the soul.

life as it is

“Every problem has in it the seed of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t have any seeds.”

Now that’s a quote I’ve lived by since the day I first saw it. It carries a few and simple, yet powerful words. You know, with all that I’ve been through, I’ve grown to understand that there’s always someone with bigger problems than mine out there, that even the happiest looking people have their own shit to deal with. Yesterday, my friend said something along the lines of “with every problem we go through, God grooms us.” It’s the little, or sometimes huge problems we face that make us appreciate the little that we have in life. When you’ve been through stuff, you find every reason to be happy, or to smile just so you can bring joy to someone else’s heart. That feeling you get when you know you’ve helped someone forget about what they are going through for just a moment…that’s just amazing. I’ve realized that nothing beats walking with your head held high, find something to smile about. I’ve learned to handle every situation the best way I can (I swear situation-handling skills come automatically when you’ve been through a lot of shit), and that advertising my problems just won’t get me anywhere. Whatever I go through, I know that no situation is permanent and with every little problem you go through, you get more strength. Being angry at the world is just no solution, for the world owes you absolutely nothing. I’ve realized that whatever I go through, life doesn’t stop for my grief!

To trust or not to trust

Gone are the days when you could just listen to someone speak, look them in the eye and believe every word they said. Lately, people look you in the eye and even swear under oath that they are telling the truth when it’s all a big fat lie. Distinguishing the liar from the non-liar becomes really tough, especially when it’s a person you’ve trusted for most of your life. It becomes even worse when you don’t know why a person suddenly greets you with a huge smile when they haven’t been talking to you for weeks. Just when you think everything is perfect and that you’ve found a long-lost friend, you realise that they were just paving their way, easing the tension so it won’t be awkward when they ask for something from you. To think that a person you’ve been calling a friend for years feels the need to pave their way in order to get what they want from you. Then you wonder if they were friends with you because they liked you or at least cared...or if they were just another parasite befriending you because of what you can do for them. Where to draw the line and who to trust I still don’t know, but sometimes, the only person you can trust is the one who brought in this world, the one person who’d never let you down.

Back to school

The winter holidays are over and it's back to school for most of us, which means there's no time to sip on hot coffee all day watching TV. How i already miss those days...and home. The most interesting part about school is the drama though, the midnight marches (I still don't understand why people would decide to march around campus late at night, or who they think would hear their grievances at that time), movie nights with the girls and the juicy gossip (now that's the best part), so school is not that dull after all . That's not the reason I came to school, but it makes school all the more interesting. I mean, what would school be without the gossip or the drama? Boring of course. As the saying goes, "all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Yes he fought for our freedom, but so did they!

Can too much credit ever be given to someone? Nelson Mandela, for example, has had the whole world singing his praises since his release from prison. There's Nelson Mandela everything, from Nelson Mandela square, NMMU, NM drive, just to name a few. I'm not hating here, nor do I mean to be all political, but how much credit can be given to one man? What about everyone else who played a role in the fight for our freedom, people whose names were never mentioned in history books and people whose praises aren't sung by the whole world, don't they at least deserve some recognition too? Mostly, "who on earth is that ?" is the first thing that comes to our minds when we see a street named after someone other than Utata or any other famous struggle hero. I still don't know whether this is due to our ignorance or the praises the likes of Utata, Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu and the others receive. I'm not saying we should stop celebrating Nelson Mandela's birthday or stop naming the whole country after him but the fact that there are other people who helped him, even though they were not imprisoned for 27 years like, should be considered. He didn't fight for this country's freedom alone. No harm is meant in writing this, I love Utata but hayi! I'm just voicing out my opinion.

in too deep

Standing in the middle of the road, torn between two sides and you just don't know which one to go to. With a terrible yet amazing feeling inside, you wish someone could just make it stop or at least go away for the time being, but then again; it's that exact weird feeling that makes you feel complete. You just feel numb and you wish you could just feel something or at least something different. You try all the methods ever invented in the history of mankind but it still seems impossible to make it stop. It gets worse with every memory you share and every thought of him, you've even ran out of words to describe it. Those times when a mere a sight of him is enough to bring a smile on your face and seeing him smile just brightens your day even more. Then in time you realise that you are in too deep!  

Take time to know me

That awkward moment when you realise that people think they actually know you, it's the worst yet funniest moment ever. Being confronted by someone for laughing at something really petty is something you can deal with, but having them say "I expected better from you" is just unbelievable. The fact that one is friendly towards everyone doesn't that person is a saint, we all have our flaws. Having another person tell you that you are too pretty to laugh in a certain way is beyond belief. Who set the universal rules on how pretty people should act, or how friendly people should act, anyway? All i'm saying is; you don't have to conform to anybody's way of living, you may be a good person but people need to understand that we all have a rougher side to ourselves. Should we ask for permission before we laugh at anybody or anything at all, you know, just in case somebody will be offended? Being oversensitive just doesn't cut it sometimes, but then again, as much as they don't know me, I don't know them. So trying to be a bit sensitive(which will kill me within two minutes of trying) might help. My point: You never really know a person until you spend time with them and until then, you have no right to tell them what you expect of them. You don't know them!!!

Through the eyes of the abused

“Forgive me, it won’t happen again.” She pleads. Pushing her against the wall he continues. Lying on the floor, “you bastard” are the only words he can utter. She smiles till one can see her last molar, while inside she’s yearning for joy, peacefulness and the love she used to get in the beginning of the relationship. “I still love him” is the excuse she gives for not leaving him. Gone are the days when he’d buy her a bouquet of flowers and whisper sweet nothings in her ears, she realises. Gone are the days when the only reason for HIM taking off his pants was to bathe him, he noticed. “Help me!” the poor little boy screams, yet his plea for help falls on deaf ears. Walking around the street with his head held high he tries to hide his pain, longing for the smiles he sees his peers wearing all day. Face battered to the last extent; “I fell off the stairs” is her excuse. How hard she tries to hide all her wounds from everyone, while the deepest wounds, the ones in her heart are slowly but surely killing her. “You made me do this!” he accuses him. Dying for his only hope, his mother, to believe him, “Don’t say such about your elders” is the response he gets from her. “Think about the family’s reputation” her father’s words echo through her mind all day and through every episode of abuse she has to endure. “Life before I met him...” is the tale she lives to tell. When he finally dies at the hands of the man who was supposed to protect him, “If only I had believed him” Is the regret his mother lives with all her life. When found drowning in the pool of her own blood, “we heard her screams every night” is the tale the neighbours live to tell. How I wonder, what the world would’ve been...had we seen life through the eyes of the abused!

By Zizipo Mbeki

Venture away

Having decided to dedicate the year 2012 to getting to know myself more, i've been venturing into a whole lot of things. Yesterday, I found myself saying "once you go bullet, you never go back". Well, that's because i've decided to use bullets now (tampons)...I couldn't deal with the uncomfortability of pads anymore. I'm even learning new languages with my friends, i'm going Italian and i've learnt a bit of South African sign language. I know a few Italian sentences now and the whole experience has taught me a lot, not only to respect other people's cultures but to learn to embrace them as well. To be open to a world that's a whole lot more different from yours doesn't hurt either. The result of my Italian lessons is a social networking site I came across (livemocha.com), it consists of many people willing to go beyond just being English, Zulu or Spanish, people who want to learn different languages, and i'm loving every moment of it. There'll be more venturing taking place throughout the year, a cric mag might be a part of it... 

being yourself is the best gift you can ever get.

yes you'll meet different people with values similar to yours, and others with different ones,

never feel the need to do things so you can make others happy.

gone are the days when you could do things and blame it on peer pressure,

having reached adulthood...or semi adulthood, it's time to start thinking for yourself.

embrace the people who appreciate you for who you are and forget about those who don't.

love yourself as you are and change what you feel needs to be changed (not what your friends think should be changed).

don't even dare compromise to please other people, sometimes your happiness comes first

avoid being your worst enemy

accept yourself just as you are and other people will too.



 This is me and my friends, whom I was blessed enough to meet this year, the people i've grown to know and still getting to know, who've been there for me in the past few months, the crazy friends who've made varsity life worth living. Through all our arguements and clashes, I've grown to learn more about them

 This is us beautifying (if such a word exists) each   other after the easter holidays, the biggest advantage you can ever have as a student...hairstyling skills. It's perfect for extra cash, no one wants to go to class with terrible hair.
      

stone heart 101

Being a student, and living away from home, I realised that independence is not about going to parties every weekend, drinking non-stop or leaving your room in the worst state when going to class. In the past four months I've learnt a lot about being independent, not only socially but emotionally as well. This is the stage of my life where I learn more about myself and realise that relying on other people for emotional comfort just won't get me anywhere. This is the time where I realise that my family and friends are not there to hold my hand through every situation, but rather to share the beautiful moments in my life, and the sad ones too. My lack of emotional dependence has probably led to me being a bit cold hearted, as most of my friends would say (which can be really helpful most of the time). Being emotionally independent, I try by all means to guard my heart, to avoid having to go and cry on someone's shoulders. I'm not saying it's a good thing but it's working for me and I haven't found myself sitting in front of the TV screen eating loads of ice cream while watching a chick flick. So my advice...guard your heart, you only have one

"you are what you wear"

Have you ever looked at someone and wondered what they do for a living...or if they do anything at all for a living? That happens to me, a lot. sometimes you just look at someone and think, "hayi, this one is a gangster", just by looking at the way they are dressed. Yesterday I learned that clothes don't always define who we are or what we do, to some people they are just clothes. But unfortunately they affect the way people perceive us, 'cause the first thing that comes to your mind when you see some guy with not-so-clean three quarter pants and a faded t-shirt is; "hide your purse". When you spend time with that particular person, you realise that he 's more than just what he's wearing, he is a person and like everyone else, he deserves some decent treatment. Basically, we are not always defined by what we wear but rather by what we do and how we present ourselves. So think twice before judging that book by its cover, you may be surprised to find that the content is actually quite good.    

the classic lines guys use to impress women...or so they think!

You know, it's amazing what being bored could lead to sometimes. It's not necessarily all negative though, in my boredom I decided to jot down a list of some of the things men say to impress women...in hope of getting some. We still fall for the same lame lines even after we hear them from 5 different guys. I kind of compared notes with a few of my friends to see the common things we've all heard from our guys.

• the classic one would be "I started working when I was in grade 8", or "since primary school".
• "You make me weak" is the killer one though.
• "...And my really embarrassing nick name is..."
• "I've never felt like this about anyone before".
• "I LOVE YOU", this is the big one.
• "You are on my mind every hour of the day".
• "I love you and i would never hurt you", that's until the next best thing comes.
• "Can I see you? There's something I want to tell you", and the next thing your sneakers are on the floor.
• "I'm doing it for you", or, "I did it for you"...That's just perfect, it's MY fault now

So basically, a guy would say anything to get some. That's on the general scale of course, there's still a lot of good guys out there.
feel free to add classics of your own.

to be continued...

 another one of my tours around Sosha...wonderful. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful some people's gardens look.  

the African decorations could not go unnoticed of course. It's a pure combination of art and nature. The sense of originality is just awesome!

Res life

 
 

 Your outfit does not always have to portray your mood. It's amazing what a colourful outfit and a nice hairdo can do for you. don't forget to hug a tree every once in a while hey. oh! by the way this is how our room looks after lunch, that's res life for you. don't blame it on me, blame it on the...I-don't-know-what.! the pecks of being independent (finally), you don't have to worry about anybody telling you to clean up or wash the dishes.

Sho't left Sosha

Do you know how embarrassing it is when you walk across the street and someone asks for directions to a place and your answer is "Er...uhm... I'm not really sure"? So this is me having taking a tour around Sosha, getting to know the area and the people, I don't want to go through that embarrassment. Taking pictures of all the interesting things we saw, the houses too and having "pose for the cam'" moments, of course I was with my friends!  

moments at res

Having a sleep  over in Reggie's room, giving ourselves the double bed experience. You'd do the same if you knew what kinda beds we slept on. It's nice having fun every once in a while, school doesn't have to be all dull. Work with what you've got...that's my new motto.

Embrace your flaws

That moment when you just feel horrible and you don't know what to do with yourself and you feel like your body does not belong to you, it really sucks...then you see someone with the not-so-pointed nose you wish you had, that sucks even more. One thing life has taught me...yes as young as I am i've learned something in life (20 years of living is not child's play), is to appreciate what I have and stay positive at all times. Yes, we ladies can be too concious about our weight, skin and body shape. Sometimes u've got to learn to accept the things you can't change and work with what you have, trying to be taller, ligther or day dreaming about having a bigger butt and rounder hips won't get you anywhere, except for depression world ofcourse. Don't wait for prince charming from I-don't-know-where to tell you that you are sexy and beautiful. Always bear in mind that there is a reason why you have those big eyes you hate so much...to make you unique. Cliche` as this may sound, true beauty comes from within. After all, cliche`s are cliche`s because they are true. embrace all your flaws and everybody will. After all, there is no manual on how a person should look!!!

genius...really?

It was last year that my friend told me she wished she was a "genius". After a year of doing "loxion management", you get to see things differently and end up questioning some of the things you used to believe. When my friend told me about her wish, i realised that anybody can be a genius. The only thing that sets us apart from our so-called geniuses is hard work and most importantly, self-discipline. When a genius makes a mistake, they learn from it. The typical non-genius will make half the previous mistake. While a genius says "let me start studying", the non-genius will say "i'll start tomorrow". So basically we can all be geniuses if we work at it. As my high school teacher once told me " the train of failure usually runs in the track of laziness". I'm not one yet but i'm sure i'll get there too.

never let a good thing pass you by...good things usually come once in a life time...even tadpoles