i'm sorry

sometimes it takes a gesture as simple as apologising to make things right and be a better person. Admitting to your mistakes doesn't make you an idiot, it makes the bigger person. a simple saying such as "I'm sorry" could mean a lot to those you've wronged in any way and being too proud to say these words just won't get you any where. the power of these words is incomparable. this is the one sentence that has the power to reunite/reconcile and bring relief when said, yet it has the power to lead to alienation, hatred and even anger when not said where it's due. so don't be too proud to apologise, it's good for the soul.

life as it is

“Every problem has in it the seed of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t have any seeds.”

Now that’s a quote I’ve lived by since the day I first saw it. It carries a few and simple, yet powerful words. You know, with all that I’ve been through, I’ve grown to understand that there’s always someone with bigger problems than mine out there, that even the happiest looking people have their own shit to deal with. Yesterday, my friend said something along the lines of “with every problem we go through, God grooms us.” It’s the little, or sometimes huge problems we face that make us appreciate the little that we have in life. When you’ve been through stuff, you find every reason to be happy, or to smile just so you can bring joy to someone else’s heart. That feeling you get when you know you’ve helped someone forget about what they are going through for just a moment…that’s just amazing. I’ve realized that nothing beats walking with your head held high, find something to smile about. I’ve learned to handle every situation the best way I can (I swear situation-handling skills come automatically when you’ve been through a lot of shit), and that advertising my problems just won’t get me anywhere. Whatever I go through, I know that no situation is permanent and with every little problem you go through, you get more strength. Being angry at the world is just no solution, for the world owes you absolutely nothing. I’ve realized that whatever I go through, life doesn’t stop for my grief!

To trust or not to trust

Gone are the days when you could just listen to someone speak, look them in the eye and believe every word they said. Lately, people look you in the eye and even swear under oath that they are telling the truth when it’s all a big fat lie. Distinguishing the liar from the non-liar becomes really tough, especially when it’s a person you’ve trusted for most of your life. It becomes even worse when you don’t know why a person suddenly greets you with a huge smile when they haven’t been talking to you for weeks. Just when you think everything is perfect and that you’ve found a long-lost friend, you realise that they were just paving their way, easing the tension so it won’t be awkward when they ask for something from you. To think that a person you’ve been calling a friend for years feels the need to pave their way in order to get what they want from you. Then you wonder if they were friends with you because they liked you or at least cared...or if they were just another parasite befriending you because of what you can do for them. Where to draw the line and who to trust I still don’t know, but sometimes, the only person you can trust is the one who brought in this world, the one person who’d never let you down.

Back to school

The winter holidays are over and it's back to school for most of us, which means there's no time to sip on hot coffee all day watching TV. How i already miss those days...and home. The most interesting part about school is the drama though, the midnight marches (I still don't understand why people would decide to march around campus late at night, or who they think would hear their grievances at that time), movie nights with the girls and the juicy gossip (now that's the best part), so school is not that dull after all . That's not the reason I came to school, but it makes school all the more interesting. I mean, what would school be without the gossip or the drama? Boring of course. As the saying goes, "all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Yes he fought for our freedom, but so did they!

Can too much credit ever be given to someone? Nelson Mandela, for example, has had the whole world singing his praises since his release from prison. There's Nelson Mandela everything, from Nelson Mandela square, NMMU, NM drive, just to name a few. I'm not hating here, nor do I mean to be all political, but how much credit can be given to one man? What about everyone else who played a role in the fight for our freedom, people whose names were never mentioned in history books and people whose praises aren't sung by the whole world, don't they at least deserve some recognition too? Mostly, "who on earth is that ?" is the first thing that comes to our minds when we see a street named after someone other than Utata or any other famous struggle hero. I still don't know whether this is due to our ignorance or the praises the likes of Utata, Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu and the others receive. I'm not saying we should stop celebrating Nelson Mandela's birthday or stop naming the whole country after him but the fact that there are other people who helped him, even though they were not imprisoned for 27 years like, should be considered. He didn't fight for this country's freedom alone. No harm is meant in writing this, I love Utata but hayi! I'm just voicing out my opinion.

in too deep

Standing in the middle of the road, torn between two sides and you just don't know which one to go to. With a terrible yet amazing feeling inside, you wish someone could just make it stop or at least go away for the time being, but then again; it's that exact weird feeling that makes you feel complete. You just feel numb and you wish you could just feel something or at least something different. You try all the methods ever invented in the history of mankind but it still seems impossible to make it stop. It gets worse with every memory you share and every thought of him, you've even ran out of words to describe it. Those times when a mere a sight of him is enough to bring a smile on your face and seeing him smile just brightens your day even more. Then in time you realise that you are in too deep!  

Take time to know me

That awkward moment when you realise that people think they actually know you, it's the worst yet funniest moment ever. Being confronted by someone for laughing at something really petty is something you can deal with, but having them say "I expected better from you" is just unbelievable. The fact that one is friendly towards everyone doesn't that person is a saint, we all have our flaws. Having another person tell you that you are too pretty to laugh in a certain way is beyond belief. Who set the universal rules on how pretty people should act, or how friendly people should act, anyway? All i'm saying is; you don't have to conform to anybody's way of living, you may be a good person but people need to understand that we all have a rougher side to ourselves. Should we ask for permission before we laugh at anybody or anything at all, you know, just in case somebody will be offended? Being oversensitive just doesn't cut it sometimes, but then again, as much as they don't know me, I don't know them. So trying to be a bit sensitive(which will kill me within two minutes of trying) might help. My point: You never really know a person until you spend time with them and until then, you have no right to tell them what you expect of them. You don't know them!!!